Friday, September 02, 2005

上帝的宠儿



“每一个女孩儿都是上帝的宠儿。”这是某个人对她的祝福。或许她身边的每个人心中都在等待着她变成一个“真正”的女孩儿的那一刻。
的确,除了身体上的特征以外,她的言行举止中没有任何一点像个正常的女孩子。她并不单纯的只是个所谓的“男人婆”,而是她的一切都让我惊奇——我从未见过像她这样的女孩子。但真要开始形容她,我却可能永远也无法将她看个完整。
她总是沉默安静地看着身边的人,在她眼前上演着一幕幕的人生闹剧。她不会在人前开口长篇大论地发表意见,也很少见她多愁善感、大呼小叫。刚认识她的人,都会不自觉的认为她很沉稳、冷静——冷静得有些冷漠。但每天面对她的人都明白,她只是单纯的很懒而已。她的懒,让她好像随时准备瘫倒在某处就此不再动弹。
也正因为她的懒,让她总是扮演着冷眼旁观的角色。她懒得不愿让人世间的烦恼干扰她——她好像总有着一方红尘之外能让自己逃避,那就是她自己奇异的思想世界。
说起来,她应该很累吧!因为不想被复杂的感情与人际关系牵绊,但周围的人却又不甘寂寞地非要去骚扰她。
有人曾说:“她不愿让别人走进她的心里。我有的时候会很恶毒地想:她其实是没有任何内在给别人看。但就那么一次,看过她日记后,我才知道她原来就是这么有意无意地把她的感情化散在空气中,就这么不经意地感动了我。她或许永远无法明白我当时为什么哭,无法明白她那与平时说话的语气毫无区别的文字如何打动了我……或许,她只是懒得让我们知道她心中的想法。
她说过,很怕见到别人的眼泪。所以她从不在人前哭。当她面对着任何一张泪流满面的脸,她的第一个反应就是躲到无人的角落里避难……那么,那次当我背对着她哭泣时,她却握住了我的手,这是否就是她变相的温柔?其实,每个人身边可以一起哭泣后互相安慰的人很多,但真正让我们更坚强的,是那些从不让人知道她会哭泣的人……而你的一生,都会遇到这样的人吗?
或许她活到现在,从没有人真正称她为“女孩儿”,但就是她,才会找到那个独属于她的人——会有那么一个人,爱她的独一无二,爱她的诡异奇特,爱她一生一世……只爱她——喂,知道吗,这就是上帝对你得天独厚的宠爱……

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